Monday, August 19, 2013

Behold: the Yutziest, Most Narcissistic Anti-Climate Change Campaign Ever

I discovered this on Twitter today. And the more of it I see, the more amazed I am; for the wrong reasons.

Apparently, Rob Shirkey is going to change the world. I mean, the whole world. And how's he going to do it? I'm glad you asked. Apparently, the following video explains it:

Yup. Warning labels.Warning labels are going to change the world.

Apparently, if Shirkey can get a warning label put on every gas nozzle in the country -- nay, the world! -- then everyone who picks up a gas nozzle to fuel their vehicle is going to look at it and exclaim "holy shit! Climate change!"

Then they will promptly grow a beard, don skinny jeans and devote themselves to never, ever using fossil fuels again. Which means that they will promptly stop driving -- in fact, they'll cease any travel of nearly any kind -- they'll stop using electricity, and they'll stop consuming any products transported using fossil fuels. Which basically means they'll stop eating.

Their reward? Apparently, a shiny bauble that declares them to be a "climate change champion." Sure, it's a fantastic way to manipulate children, but that's just what climate change activists do.

But enough about other people. As so many left-wing activists' campaigns are now, Shirkey's campaign is basically about Shirkey. So maybe it's a good time to discuss what's in it for you.

And if you donate to the campaign, just look at some of the things you can get!

That's right. An autographed warning label! Because apparently Rob Shirkey is kind of a big deal, and despite the fact that you've never heard of him, you would want that. Apparently.

Personally, I don't know what's sadder: that Shirkey would think to offer people autographed warning labels -- apparently just presuming that people would actually want them -- or that, as of the writing of this, nine people have actually jumped at that.

But enough ridicule. Could this campaign actually work? Sure it could, in the sense that it could actually get municipal governments to pass bylaws requiring these warning labels. But will the warnings work? Probably not.

Shirkey himself notes that warning labels on tobacco packages have been shown to work. And sure they can. But, then again, no one needs to smoke. People may be addicted to nicotine, but this is not the same as needing to smoke. As a favourite LW troll realized recently, people need fossil fuels, in one way or another. People need to get around. They need to get groceries. They need to heat their homes.

Perhaps the labels could -- at best -- convince some wealthy urbanite hipster to start feeling really guilty and buy a Prius. Which still runs on fossil fuels, BTW.

Other than that, this campaign has about as much chance of stopping climate change as a Toyotra Prius does surviving a head-on collision with a semi-truck. Which almost makes me feel sorry for the yutz behind it all.

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